Lessons from a Fast (6/13/09 - 6/19/09)

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

This weekend, I am traveling to Europe to visit my parents for the next few weeks. It will be my first time to see them in person in over a year, so I'm very excited about that! We're pictured here at Christmas in 2007.

Prayer Necessities for the Skimmers:

1. Please continue to pray for our visa situation. We continue to await the verdict of the Bolivian consulate on whether or not our paperwork is acceptable. Please pray that, when Misty and Amy return to the consulate tomorrow, there will be a favorable response.

2. Pray that, once we are in Bolivia, God would bring into our lives women with whom we can develop relationships. Pray that He would call some of those women into mission work among the Quechua of southern Bolivia.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know (Bonus for the Readers):

We had a class (pictured to the right) on fasting this week and, a few days later, the LORD told me to put it into practice. I'm hoping we don't have any classes on running marathons. :)

During the class, Jeremy (pictured below in the little car in which he normally came to our camp) explained to us how one of the purposes of fasting is to reveal our sins to us so that God can work in that area of our lives. And it occurred to me that the entire five weeks we've spent in the jungle has been a fast... from everything. From the foods we enjoy most, from English as we've had to speak exclusively in Spanish, from the Internet, from communication with family and friends, from indoor plumbing, from almost every comfort to which we're accustomed. But I realized that the hardest part has been a fast from my freedom. Jeremy gave us property boundaries that we can't cross without his permission, so this jungle has become something of a prison to me.

But that fast from liberty, which is something I didn't even know I valued so highly, has shown me so much about the sins in my life. At times, it's almost overwhelming to face them, but God is ever faithful to encourage me just when I need it and to forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness (1 Jn. 1:9).

After these revelations, the LORD told me I needed to fast until He told me to stop. The next morning, I was praying and asking Him if He wanted me to continue fasting. He didn't give me an immediate answer, so I started talking to Him about leaving the jungle. Honestly, I was just tired of being in training and really looking forward to all the comforts of Lima, which will be our next stop. And, in the midst of my complaining, the LORD spoke to me very clearly: "Kelli, if you were in Lima, you would disobey Me in this fast."

I tried to argue, but He responded, "You're having a hard time fasting here. With all the temptations of Chili's and Papa John's in Lima, you would definitely disobey."

Can you believe I kept trying to argue with Him, reminding Him of my great willpower in losing sixty pounds several years ago? That's when His voice got a little sharper: "Are you listening to what you're saying to Me? I don't need you to offer Me anything that's done in your own strength. You have nothing to offer Me!"

OK, so that finally shut me up. Because I realized that I had been doing just that my whole Christian life. I was constantly offering to God my absolute best efforts with all my strength and constantly feeling burdened as a result. But He had said His yoke was easy, and His burden was light (Matt. 11:30). And I had never before understood why I felt a hard yoke and heavy burden.

Later that same day, I went before the LORD again to ask if He wanted me to continue fasting or if I should eat dinner. And He asked me: "Why do you want to eat? Are you hungry?" I had to admit that I wasn't, that I really just wanted the satisfaction of putting food in my mouth. But Jesus had told us this:

"I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry." (Jn. 6:35)

And the Bible also says this:

"Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." (Deut. 8:3)

Through this fast, the LORD was teaching me that He alone is more satisfying than any food I could ever want. He's sweeter than the juiciest New York cheesecake or the creamiest banana split I could ever ask for. I miss Taco Bell and Cracker Barrel, but the temporary physical satisfaction of the best meal from there can't be "compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Phil. 3:8). It's actually ridiculous to even write that sentence because the comparison is so absurd.

Finally, after two days of fasting, the LORD told me I could eat the following morning. But, before breakfast, we had to run 1.5 miles, followed by doing 60 pushups, 75 situps, and 45 lunges. After running, I almost cried. I had no energy. I just couldn't breathe, and the idea of doing all those exercises seemed impossible.

So I offered the LORD my body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:2). I told Him, "Father, You know I can't do this. I just don't have the strength. But You have no problem with any of this, and 'I can do everything through him who gives me strength'" (Phil. 4:13). I continued, "I don't know what it means to do things in Your strength rather than my own, but I want to learn. Please help me to finish this."

I hope you won't be surprised to hear that I did finish all of my exercises that morning. It wasn't easy, but His strength was sufficient.

This is only the beginning of correcting a lifelong problem of trying to follow Christ with my own efforts. I certainly don't have it all figured out, but I'm grateful for the lesson and can't wait to learn more from the LORD about it. And I wanted to share it with you because I know I'm not the only one who has this problem. I hope you'll also share with me how our great God has taught you!

Walking by Faith... Literally (6/6/09 - 6/12/09)

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

While in Lima, we were able to have some documents officially translated in only one day. This process involved obtaining an official seal from the United States embassy, getting another official seal from a Peruvian government office, and finally having it translated into Spanish. As you might imagine, this can be a time-consuming process, but the LORD went before us and accomplished it quickly and efficiently. These documents will be necessary to obtain our visas, so we're very excited!

Prayer Necessities for the Skimmers:

1. Continue to pray for favor with Bolivian officials during the visa process. Tomorrow, we will begin this process in the Bolivian consulate in Puno, Peru.

2. Pray for my partner, Leah, as she has returned to the jungle in Iquitos, Peru, to complete her responsibilities as team nurse. During this time of separation from us, pray that the Father would sustain her and and that He would use her in the lives of Zalmith and Ruth, some women we have befriended in Iquitos. Pray that they might come to know Who Jesus is by watching Leah.

3. Pray that God would give us opportunities to share the Truth of Christ while we are in Puno.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know (Bonus for the Readers):

Before I begin this week's blog, I thought you might like to see some more of life in the jungle. The first picture is a shot of me "supervising" the repair of our roof on our jungle home. And the second is me teaching the story of Joseph to the girls (note my sleeping bag on the ground to my left, which was used as his coat of many colors). Towards the end of our training time, we were learning a Bible story about every other day. And by "learning," I mean that one person would teach the story to the others verbally, using actions and props as learning aids, and we would go through it several times until each person had it memorized. By the end of our training, we had learned 16 Bible stories, all of them directly from the Scriptures.

I spent two days in a jungle community this week and, wow, what a ride it was! 2 Cor. 5:7 tells us that we are to "live by faith, not by sight," and I got to really put that into practice. The times when you put all your faith in God are the times when you find out Who He really is, and I'm still amazed at Him! But let me start at the beginning...

I was partnered with one of my journeygirls, Amy, and all our boss told us was this: "You'll leave by 9:00 Sunday morning. When you get to the gate of the camp, go left. Follow the teaching of Jesus in Luke 10, and come back to camp on Tuesday."

Yep, that was all we got and, as we read the chapter to which he had directed us, we were even more scared. In Luke 10, Jesus commissions 72 of His followers to go out two by two to preach that the Kingdom of Heaven is near. He starts by telling them this:

"Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves." (Luke 10:3)

Granted, that is not a comforting thought, but we know that we also had the Presence of our Good Shepherd with us. Yet, regardless, I was terrified. There was ZERO about this situation that was comfortable for me, but I couldn't get away from the fact that I had to obey. As God's slave, I had no choice.

Amy and I began talking through what to take with us: Extra clothes, our Bibles, my water filter, toiletries, sunblock. Really, we only wanted to take the bare necessities and, though our boss had offered us money, we had decided to try to trust that the LORD would provide for our needs. But the more we read Luke 10, the more clear His will became.

"Do not take a purse or bag or sandals..." (Luke 10:4)

And the parallel passage in Matthew told us:

"Take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep." (Matt. 10:10)

We knew we were supposed to take nothing.

I did take my Bible, my lamp, one liter of water, and my machete, and Amy took only her machete. And I prayed for much of the night, wondering if I was crazy. We were leaving our camp with no idea of where to go and taking almost nothing with us. It was the first time in my life I'd ever really relied on God to provide my food, and I was absolutely petrified.

But we obeyed and turned left at the entrance to our camp. I had awoken that morning knowing that we were supposed to go to a certain road and turn right, but we had no direction beyond that. We were very literally walking by faith.

With every step, we were praying, and we spent our time telling each other about how the LORD has worked in such mighty ways in our lives. As we talked and reminded one another of how the LORD had always been faithful in the past, I grew more excited to see how He would work this time, and the fear was slowly replaced by a growing confidence in the Holy Spirit.

Following the Spirit's lead, we were directed to rest at a house beside the road, and the family there gave us some fruit to eat. So we asked the family if they knew of anyone with whom we could stay for a couple of days. We told them that we had no money, but we wanted to get to know the people and the culture and that we hoped to work alongside the women of the community in exchange for food and a place ot stay.

The family pondered this for so long that Amy and I were discussing whether we should leave. But suddenly, a woman walked up and began talking to the lady with whom we had been speaking. After a few minutes, the woman came up to us and explained that she had a house where she lived alone. She was a Christian and was willing to take us to stay at her home. Wow! We were blown away by the LORD's provision!

This lady's name was Elisabeth, and she lived in the nearby community of Shushuna. She took us to her home and made us a wonderful meal of chicken and rice. We spent the rest of the afternoon getting to know her and her daughter and granddaughters who were there for a visit. We were so excited that we could settle in Shushuna for a few days.

But I don't think the LORD likes for us to get too comfortable. At 4:00 that afternoon, He decided to test our faith once again. Out of the blue, Elisabeth told us that she would be leaving for the city early in the morning and that we would need to find another place to stay. Needless to say, we were pretty confused and, honestly, I'm still unclear whether it was the language barrier that was the problem. But I do know that the LORD had other things to teach us through this trip, and this was His doing.

So, with only a couple hours of daylight left, we were back at square one, and we wandered back out on the street with machetes in hand. When we reached the center of the community, there was a volleyball game going on, and we sat down to watch. But, though Amy tried to start conversations with several of the women nearby, none would give more than a monosyllabic answer or really even give us more than a passing glance. With the pressure of impending darkness weighing more heavily on us all the time, we were at a loss. So we decided to pray.

A verse I had read just a few days earlier became the theme of our prayer:

"We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you." (2 Chron. 20:12)

We just confessed that we had no idea what the LORD wanted us to do but that we needed His guidance and wanted to do nothing without it.

We then returned to the volleyball game and, for a time, nothing seemed to change. Amy tried again to talk to some of the women... to no avail. But the LORD just calmed my spirit with this verse:

"Be still, and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10)

Though we were antsy, we knew He was telling us to wait.

Eventually, the volleyball game ended, and one of the ladies asked Amy and me to play with them. It was the icebreaker we needed. They laughed at our poor play and, afterwards, we talked to the pastor of the nearby church and his wife. When we told them we were missionaries who were learning how to go into jungle communities, they were thrilled and offered to let us stay in a vacant house that belonged to a family member. Once again, God had provided!

As they took us to the house, it was just beginning to get dark, and we were truly overwhelmed by how quickly the LORD had provided. A few minutes later, the pastor's wife handed me a cold bottle of Coke, and I wanted to cry with gratitude. Not only was it the first Coke I'd had in almost a month, but it was COLD! It's awesome how our Father blesses us with little extras to please us when the basics would certainly have been sufficient. He truly "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Eph. 3:20).

God miraculously provided for us during our time in Shushuna. He gave us three meals a day during our time there when we were accustomed to eating only twice a day in our camp. We had meat with almost every meal, whereas we never ate meat in camp because it was just too expensive. And they gave us hammocks to sleep in, when we were accustomed to a mat on a hard wooden floor. And we even got a ride back to our camp on Tuesday morning, when we were all set to walk. Surely I have learned the truth of this familiar verse:

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want." (Ps. 23:1)

I could give you so much more detail about how the Father provided for us, but I hope this will encourage you that our God truly can be trusted. His Word is true, and "no one whose hope is in [Him] will ever be put to shame" (Ps. 25:3). For the first time in my life, I actually put my faith in Him to provide my daily bread, rather than saying the words but, in reality, putting my trust in my own bank account. And, while it was scary at first, like the disciples in Luke 10, Amy and I "returned with joy" (Luke 10:17)!

I've read missionary stories like this in the past and always thought of those people as great heroes of the faith. But those of you who know me at all know I am not a hero of the faith. I'm nothing beyond an ordinary person, but I do serve an extraordinary God, and He makes all the difference!