My parents came to visit for two weeks, and we had a really marvelous time together! They got to see quite a bit, as we spent time with my friend Fon and her family (top picture below), talked with other missionaries, prayer-walked many different areas, got to know my church (bottom picture below), saw a variety of ministries in action, and just hung out together. We made a short trip to Chiang Mai but spent most of our time here in Bangkok. They made it safely here and arrived back in the United States this past week. I am so thankful for the time we got to spend together!
Prayer Necessities:
1. I have been in contact with another ministry here in Bangkok, and they have asked me to begin discipling a young lady who was previously working in a red-light area but who has now become a believer. I am so excited about this opportunity but also feel very nervous and inadequate to do such a thing. I certainly recognize my need for Him in this! Please pray that my time together with this young lady would be led by the Spirit and that He would grant us both wisdom and grace as we get to know each other and mature in the faith together.
2. Please be in prayer for me as I continue my language learning with a tutor for the next couple of weeks and then return to a formal classroom setting in mid-October. Pray that I would be diligent to study, particularly to learn new vocabulary, and that the Lord would give me many opportunities to practice.
3. Continue to pray for my friend Fon, who seems more interested in learning about Christ but is still stuck in the Buddhist mindset of trying to make up for past sins. Please pray that the Lord would continue to work in her heart and would give her the understanding that she cannot ever make up for past sins but that His grace covers all her sin - past, present, and future.
Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:
Since I arrived in Bangkok, my main focus, apart from learning language, has been getting to know the worldview of the people God has called me here to reach - those who are involved in the sex industry. Trying to reach people with such a vastly different background than my own will be a challenge because, not only are they of a different cultural background, but they also operate under an entirely different morality. How is it possible to even find common ground with these women, to "be all things" to them so that I might, by any means, save some, as Paul has instructed?
When I first arrived, what I noticed were the differences in my worldview and that of other Thai people. There is blatant spirit and idol worship everywhere and no concept of a Creator God Who condemns such practices. In a place where 99% of the population identifies itself as Buddhist, it's hard to find a house or business without a "spirit house" outside where the residents or owners leave food and drink sacrifices daily. The best seats on various forms of public transportation have signs instructing passengers to give them up if a Buddhist monk enters, and I frequently see people offer gifts of food to a monk and then strip off their shoes and kneel down to pray before him. The scent of incense, something I used to enjoy, now repulses me as I see it constantly offered up to a false god and realize that the people don't even know they're offering their worship to a demonic spirit. Pagan practices abound, even as the Thai people tell you that all religions are good because they teach you to do good things. They don't know that it's impossible to be good because the source of all actions is the heart, and we are born with an evil one.
But all of that is just the average Thai person. When you start getting into those who are involved in the sex industry here, the differences between me and them goes to an even deeper level. I have no personal experience with poverty, other than what I have seen on the mission field. I have never known hunger, except voluntarily. I have never felt the desperation of knowing I have to provide for multiple family members without any possible means of doing so. I have never known the lack of opportunity - to receive an education, to get a job, to choose my life - that has been all these women ever know.
I can't relate to making a choice - because, no matter how poor your other options may be, it's still a choice - to sell my body. I don't know what it's like to fake love for a man because it is what is necessary to receive the money that he has. I can't imagine what it's like to harden my heart and mind to what is happening to my body... and wonder if there will one day be a day when my heart and mind can't be softened anymore.
So, with all of these differences between us, I have often wondered how I could ever bridge the gap between me and the sex workers here. I know God has called me to this work, but I often feel so ill-prepared and overwhelmed by the very thought of it.
But then He reminded me of the one thing we all seem to have in common: Our desire for love.
Now I don't mean the watered-down bill of goods our society tries to sell us. Love is not the romanticized version you see in the movies or hear about in some sappy power ballad or read about in Shakespeare. Love doesn't begin with "Once upon a time" and end with "Happily ever after," and it never involves riding off into the sunset with a knight on a white horse.
No, I'm talking about true love. Love that gets up multiple times a night to care for a sick loved one. Love that picks up dirty clothes and changes diapers and moves heavy furniture. Love that responds gently when mistreated, answers anger with kindness, sees past sins to potential.
True love sends its only Son to a cross as an exchange for a bunch of lowly, sin-infested humans. Love gives everything it has, even when it gets nothing in return.
Truly, that kind of love is what Fon is looking for. When she cries to me about the latest man she met, the guy who started out as Mr. Wonderful but who broke her heart just a few weeks later when he was ready to move on, she's crying because, though she's never experienced it, there's something in her heart that says true love is out there.
And it is. I know because I've found it.
But, see, it's hard for me to put my finger on exactly when I got to know true love because the knowledge of it - of Him - is gradual. Was it the moment when I recognized that Jesus was my only hope to be saved from hell? Was it the moment when I chose to obey the Holy Spirit's command to choose between Him and my earthly boyfriend as to who would be my top priority in my life? Was it the moment when the Spirit promised to be with me and never forsake me, even though He was sending me to another country? Was it the moment when Jesus reassured me that He loved and forgave me even after terrible failures and doubts? Was it the moment when I had such severe back pain that I didn't know if I would be able to return to overseas work?
I think true love is found in all of those moments and in a million more. My Jesus is that love that Fon is looking for.
And she sees that in how I treat her. Every time I sit with her as she cries, she knows she is loved. When I leave my house late at night to meet her, even though I just want to be in my bed, it communicates His love. When I listen to her talk about her job, even though she knows I don't like what she's doing and wish she had a different line of work, she knows that she is accepted.
Because I know His love, I am responsible to communicate it to her and to these other women. That is our common ground.
"Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required." (Luke 12:48)
Lord, let me fulfill my responsibility to love others as You have loved me.
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| Me with my mom and Fon |
