I recently finished a second month of Thai language study, and things are progressing very well. I am starting to be able to hear the tones (different pitches of the sounds that make a difference in the word's meaning) and am frequently amazed at how much I can understand. Though it's not a huge amount, mind you, I am still very encouraged by the progress. I know there's still a long road ahead, but it's nice to be able to see how far the Lord has brought me!
My friend Brittne and I sharing coconut ice cream with Fon
1. Please continue to lift up Fon (pictured above) in your prayers. A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to share just a small portion of who God is with her, only to hear her say that she just doesn't understand where I'm coming from. But she did tell me that she is willing to listen more as she begins to understand more English and I begin to speak more Thai. Therefore...
2. Please pray that I would rapidly advance in this language. Language study for four hours a day, five days a week, in addition to outside homework, is an exhausting business and, frankly, I sometimes get lazy and don't study at home like I should. Pray that I would remain motivated, knowing that communication in this language is an urgent matter when eternal destinies are at stake.
3. Pray that I would be diligent to bring "every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5).
Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:
It's been a tough few weeks. I won't share details, but a difficult situation arose that didn't resolve in the way I had hoped. A friendship I once had has recently been broken, and it really sent me into something of a tailspin. Now that I'm beginning to come out of it, it's easier to look back and see things more clearly with the Lord's perspective.
The main reason for the tailspin was that I decided to listen to the enemy's lies, rather than "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." So let me share with you a little of my struggle, with a twofold purpose: First, that you might be encouraged that you are not alone in your struggles with our enemy's deceptions; and second, that I might be humble and honest before you so that you will better know how to lift me up to the Father.
I'm sure most of you know how these things go. Our enemy is constantly whispering lies in our ears:
"You don't really have time to stop and talk to that person. You're tired, and the kids are in the car. Just call him later."
"Forgive her? Really? After what she did? No, you're perfectly justified in not making the first move to fix things. She's the one who was in the wrong; let her be the first one to call and apologize."
"That was so dumb of you to say that. He probably thinks you're a real idiot."
You've probably heard some variation of every one of these and a million more. He does it to us all the time. It's just what the enemy does; he accuses. The very word "satan" means accuser. I didn't capitalize it because I don't think it's a proper name; it's just a description of what he is.
When things first went down with my friend, the accuser began to tell me that I shouldn't share things with you, my prayer partners.
"They won't understand," he said. "They'll question whether you can maintain a friendship with anybody... and rightfully so. You're not very good at that, are you? You should be embarrassed."
And I believed him, so I didn't want to share with you.
Next, he convinced me to feel sorry for myself.
"Why would your friend do this to you? All you've ever done was try to be nice to her. Maybe you should just stay away from people. That's the only way to keep them from hurting you."
And I believed him, so I began to have a pity party and basically be angry at everyone around me... regardless of whether they'd done anything to me or not.
Next, he convinced me that I'd never be able to make new friends and, even if I could, I wouldn't be able to trust them.
"What's wrong with you that you can't keep friendships anyway? You're always saying things wrong. You hurt people. You don't dress very nice. You're not pretty. Why would anyone want to be friends with you anyway?"
One day, I went to lunch with a new friend and thoroughly enjoyed our time together. But, as I was headed home, the lies came again:
"You know she only went to eat with you out of pity, right? I mean, you obviously don't have many friends here. She made a comment about how you look different today than you did yesterday at church. I'm sure she won't want to be caught dead being friends with somebody who dresses like a slob all the time. Hope you enjoyed that lunch. It'll be the last one you have with her."
Ultimately, all of these lies led me to the point of questioning my purpose here.
"Why are you here anyway? You'll never be able to cross over all of these barriers to even form a friendship with any of the women here, let alone share Jesus with them. You can't speak the language, you'll never understand their culture, and you can't even keep friendships with other Christians. You're never going to be able to do what you came here to do. You should just go home before you waste any more time and money."
Thankfully, at that point, the Lord really encouraged me with MANY reminders of His Truth in many different ways - through a variety of different believers and through His Word. He also pointed me back to something that happened at the very beginning of my time here.
On my very first Sunday in Thailand, I met a man who is part of my new church family here. He didn't know me and was asking the Lord how he should pray for me, and the Lord gave him a very specific word. After the service, he asked a girl at the church to translate and told me this:
"You will struggle with this language if you try to do it on your own, but the Lord will give it to you in time if you rely on Him to do it. He will use you in an amazing way here in the lives of many women."
Wow.
Keep in mind that this man did not know me at all, nor did anyone else in that church. They knew I was a missionary (the man, who had come to the service late, didn't even know that much), but they did not know the specific ministry I had been called here to do. I have no doubt that word was truly from the Lord.
Being reminded of that promise, I knew that I couldn't continue to listen to the enemy's lies. They would defeat me and would keep me from letting the Lord fulfill what He'd said. When I started replacing those lies with the Truth that comes from the Word of God, the tailspin began to slow and has now almost stopped.
Please understand that I'm not sharing with you so that you'll feel sorry for me. We all battle every one of these, or something worse, every day. I'm not alone, and I hope you'll realize that you're not either. But the accuser uses a few strategies of which we should all be aware:
1. He seeks to isolate us. If he can get you feeling and acting like you're all alone, the battle is mostly won. But you're not alone! "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man" (1 Cor. 10:13). Don't be afraid to share your struggles with someone who loves you. Chances are, they've been there, too. And, even if they haven't, someone who truly loves you will care enough about you to listen and be there for you.
2. He seeks to keep you focused on your own problems. Don't let him! Get out of your pity party. When you feel most miserable, read Scripture, pray, and then go and spend time talking to and/or serving someone else. When you stay focused on you, it just leads into a downward spiral of increasing self-pity, which only makes you more and more miserable. I promise, I know the truth of this firsthand.
3. He seeks to divide believers. There are precious few reasons to end relationships with your brothers and sisters. As a matter of fact, the only one I can think of is unrepentant sin after following the disciplinary steps outlined in Matthew 18. Yet we walk away from relationships with our brothers and sisters all the time, simply because it's easier and less painful to do so than to sort through the many difficulties associated with being in relationship with other imperfect people. But Scripture tells us that we are to be diligent to guard the unity of the body (Eph. 4:3) and that this unity is what shows the world that God sent Jesus (Jn. 17:23).
I hope these lessons I've been learning will be helpful to you as you seek to listen only to the Truth and to disregard those lies. They can feel so real, but they are only deceptions. Let's help each other remember that. Thank you for faithfully walking alongside me on this narrow path!
