Gone and Forgotten?

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

He is ever faithful to lift us up in our darkest hour, and I am so grateful for His sustenance and His faithfulness!

Prayer Necessities:

1. Pray for Leah and me as we struggle through this time of discouragement. Ask that we would the "God Who gives endurance and encouragement" (Rom. 15:5) would grant us both and that we would persevere in completing the work to which He has called us.

2. Please pray for Leah and me as we make our first and only trip to Taramarca next week. We will be there for about ten days teaching stories to the church there, then will focus full-time on the new church in Salvatierra. Pray that we would be faithful to finish this work among the Quechua.

3. Be in prayer for our friend Simon, who has had some recent job changes that require him to spend two weeks a month in another city. This has been hard on him and his family and will continue for the next year, so please pray that he would be strengthened and encouraged during this time.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

I have intentionally sent this particular blog update only to a select group of people who are certainly my brothers and sisters in Christ. There is a reason for that.

So this blog is going to be a hard one for me to write and maybe even harder for you to read. But I have thought and prayed about it, and I think these things need to be said...

It's been a rough few months. Beginning in July with the women's conference in Ayuma, Leah and I have been working pretty much non-stop with constant community trips and teaching. When we got back from our last trip to Ayuma, we essentially collapsed from exhaustion.

Shortly thereafter, Leah went on a vacation trip to Ecuador, followed by a trip to Peru for a short training time. She'll be back in Sucre later this week. Her travels have left me alone in my house in Sucre for about two weeks.

I was looking forward to that time after such a grueling few months beforehand. But, to tell you the truth, I have never felt more alone. My phone rang once when a friend called to ask if I could take him somewhere in the truck. I checked my e-mail incessantly and did receive some e-mails in response to ones I sent out but only a very few where I didn't initiate contact. I sent out multiple blog updates and got hardly any response.

The truth is, even before this time in Sucre, I had begun to feel forgotten by my family. And when I say "family," I don't mean my biological family but those who should love me even more: My family in Christ. I have two sisters in Christ who have faithfully kept up with me for these three years that I have now been on the mission field, and I can't begin to describe how grateful I am for those beautiful women. On the days when I feel most down, I remind myself that they care enough to stay in touch with me.

But here's the deal. October 15 marked the third anniversary of my time in another country. That magical date also means that I am no longer obligated to remain on the field. Let me explain: When I signed on with the IMB as a career missionary apprentice, I committed to serve a term of at least three years. If I had left at any point before that period of time was up, I would have been obligated to pay back a prorated portion of the money required to get me here and back and the money required for the set-up of my house here. But, as of October 15, 2011, I can leave the field at any time with no financial obligation whatsoever.

I have lots of friends with whom I attended our mission board's orientation back in 2008. The majority of them are leaving the field now to go to the States for a period of stateside time of rest and rejuvenation. Right now, I'm tired. I'm burned-out. I'm discouraged. And there's nothing I want more than to join those friends of mine in going home to my own country where I can eat my own food and speak my own language and spend time with my family and friends.

Basically, the only thing that's keeping me here at this point is the command of my Lord.

That being said, that financial motivation to remain on the field is a tangible one. With that out of the way, disobedience seems a little bit easier. Especially knowing I could tell myself, "What? I served my three years! Nobody can say anything to me!"

So why am I telling you all this? Because the main thing that makes me want to come home is feeling like no one cares about me at all. Discouragement is a powerful enemy, especially when you feel alone and just want to be with people who love you.

In the midst of one of my darkest times over the last week or so, God reminded me of Jesus in Gethsemane. He had also spent three years in ministry, pouring into this group of men, only to have them not be able to stay awake for even an hour with Him when He was in His hour of greatest need. When those guys should have been around Him showing Him that they cared and praying alongside Him in order to encourage Him before He faced His greatest trial, they were sleeping! Oh, how my Lord can relate to my feelings right now, and how wonderfully encouraging that is to know.

But all of you have a responsibility, too.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." (Heb. 3:13)

I'm asking you as my brothers and sisters in Christ to please help me now. I desperately need your encouragement to persevere in finishing the work here. God has called us to stay and to disciple this new church in Salvatierra, but I need you to help me. I need to hear from you. I need to know that you care about me and this ministry and that you are praying. Please don't desert me in my hour of greatest need.

None of this is meant to make you feel guilty. I have resisted sending this blog for a long time because I hate the idea of being manipulated or of manipulating others, and I hate making myself vulnerable to others. But vulnerability is a necessity as a believer, and I don't think it's manipulative to express what could help you to stay the course. So I want you all to know that I do need you, and there are others around you that need you, too. Please don't get so caught up in the things of this world that you forget the things that are everlasting. Among those eternal things are our relationships with our brothers and sisters and our obedience to the Lord concerning them.