Accomplishing the Task

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

The LORD has given me recent opportunities to teach the story of creation in Thai to a group of four women, three of whom are very mature in the faith and are moving towards leadership in the body of believers.  They learned the story and seem ready to share it with others!  In January, I will begin teaching again, but this time to women who have just left the sex industry and have very little, if any, knowledge of Jesus and what He has done for them.  I am so privileged to be able to share with them about the Savior Who loves them so much!

Prayer Necessities:

1.  Please ask that God would grant me wisdom to know how to craft the stories specifically for this group of ladies who know nothing about Him.  The stories need to be easy enough for them to understand and learn but without watering down the truth that can change their lives.  Please pray that I would devise them well.

2.  Pray for the women who will learn these stories, that their hearts and minds would be open to the Truth as it is presented to them.  Pray that the god of this age, who blinds the minds of unbelievers, would be bound and unable to perform his work on them as they come face-to-face with the One True and Living God.

3.  Pray for the nation of Thailand during a time of great political unrest and violent government opposition.  Pray that the uncertainties will cause many to question their Buddhist beliefs and come to trust in the One True God and in Jesus Christ, Whom He has sent.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

For five years now, I have been privileged to be prayerfully and financially supported by Southern Baptists (and a few others as well) through the International Mission Board (IMB).  I've realized that I don't do a very good job of communicating my thankfulness for your sacrificial giving or in expressing how this process works, and I wanted to do so now.

First, let's keep in mind the task that we have:  To go and make disciples of all nations (Matt. 28:19).  Currently, the world is just shy of 7 billion people.  Did you know that more than half of those, nearly 4 billion people, have no or limited access to the Good News about Jesus?  The IMB, the largest missionary-sending agency in the US, currently has about 5000 missionaries serving in 134 countries around the world.  That's not nearly enough to accomplish the Great Commission, but it's a pretty good start.

Second, your giving allows those 5000 missionaries to go forth and concentrate fully on accomplishing the task they've been given, without worrying about how to feed and clothe their families.  Your giving provides for that for each of us.  You provide for our medical care, our visas, our language study, our housing, our transportation.  The IMB is the ONLY missionary-sending agency that provides fully for its missionaries in this way.  I can't begin to express how thankful I am to you for what you give so that I can be here doing what God has called me to do.

But the most important thing of all is that your giving allows ministry to happen.  Your giving provides Bibles to those who don't have them, provides for disaster relief in events like the recent typhoon in the Philippines, provides for us to get to those who need to hear.  Your giving funds getting the Gospel to those hard-to-reach places where we get to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

So are you wondering how this all works?  I hope so because I want to explain it a bit. :)

If you are a Southern Baptist who gives regularly to your church, a portion of that typically goes to the Cooperative Program.  Each church determines its individual giving to the Cooperative Program, so I can't give you exact numbers for your local church, but I can tell you this:  Half of Cooperative Program funds go to the IMB.  That amount makes up about 30% of the IMB's operating budget each year.

So where does the rest of the money come from?  Well, I'm glad you asked. :)

Have you ever heard of the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering?  If not, then I haven't done my job very well, and neither has your church if you are Southern Baptist. :)

The Lottie Moon Christmas Offering is named for one of the first Southern Baptist missionaries, a lady who died of complications of long-term starvation after serving in China for 39 years.  She gave her food to the people to whom she ministered and died at 72.  She was a heroine of the faith, and I get to stand on her giant shoulders in going now.

Every year, this offering is collected in December and 100% of it goes to support IMB missionaries on the field.  Not one cent of it is used for overhead expenses or anything other than direct support of field personnel.  This offering is the heart and soul of our support.

For the last several years, despite a pitiful economy in the US, you have continued to give faithfully to Lottie Moon.  I am so grateful for your sacrifice, and I think about it every time I have an expense that needs to be paid, knowing that others have made the sacrifice so that I can be here.  It is humbling, and I want to honor your faithfulness by being a good steward of the funds you have entrusted to me.  Thank you.

If you are interested in giving to the Lottie Moon Christmas offering, there are several ways you can do so:

1.  Give directly to your local church.  It is almost certain that your church has a Lottie Moon goal for this year, and this is a good way to help them meet it.

2.  Give online directly to the IMB.  Click on the Lottie Moon page.  The gift is tax-deductible and can be made in any amount.

3.  Give to a specific IMB project here in Southeast Asia or in another part of the world.  Click on the strategic projects page and browse to find the right project to which you would like to donate.

4.  Give while you shop online at Amazon.com.  Click on this specific Amazon Smile link, and Amazon will donate 0.5% of your purchase to the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering.  This is such an easy and great way to give to the task.

Together, we will get the job done and will see Christ's Kingdom established here on earth.  Let's keep our eyes focused on eternal things, and persevere!

Thanks from Riley and me for your faithful giving!

Finding True Love

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

Next month, I will begin teaching Bible stories to a small group of former red-light area workers who have now become followers of Jesus.  I met some of these ladies last week, and they were such an encouragement.  The goal is for them to learn the stories so that they can share the Gospel with others.  I am so excited that He has given me this opportunity!

Prayer Necessities:

1.  Please be in prayer for these ladies as they begin learning these stories that span the Biblical narrative from creation to Christ.  Pray that the truths would sink into their hearts and change them and that they would be bold to share with their families and friends.

2.  Pray that I will memorize the stories quickly and well.  Pray that the truths I am learning would also sink in and change my heart daily.

3.  Please pray that the Lord would bring a teammate (or several) to partner with me in this ministry.  A Thai believer, in particular, would be so helpful in this work.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

In response to my last blog, a friend asked me to expound upon how I found true love in a variety of situations.  To answer that question, I think it's time for me to share how I came to know Jesus.  He has truly been so gracious toward me, even though I was and still am completely undeserving, and I love to share the story of my relationship with Him.

I grew up in what most people would call a "Christian" home but, in reality, my parents did not truly know Christ.  When I was 9, though, that dramatically changed.  Both of my parents chose to follow Jesus, and their lives have never been the same.  They went from caring only about the accumulation of material things to walking in obedience to Christ in all that they did.  Even as a fourth-grader, I saw the difference.

When I was 12, I heard a sermon on hell and was terrified.  I knew, without any doubt, that I was going there and that I deserved it.  And I knew that Jesus was my only hope, so I asked Him to save me.

But, somehow, I didn't really get it.  I had seen my parents' lives change completely, but I thought they were just religious fanatics.  I figured, "Oh, that's great for them, but it's not for me. I don't need to do all of that."  I lived my life as if I were still in control of it.

I saw myself as a parent's dream child.  I got good grades and was on the fast-track to college.  I didn't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and I looked down on those who did.  I didn't sleep with boys either and thought of those who did as the worst of all.  After all, I was a Christian.  I was active in my youth group at church, and we all knew that those were the big sins that kept you far away from God.

Me with my trumpet, age 17

Yet, even with that seeming perfection (in my own eyes), I was unhappy.  Despite not committing any of the "big sins," I still felt far away from God.  From time to time, I would "rededicate my life" to Jesus.  I would feel guilty, walk down the aisle at the church building, and purpose to do better.  For a while after that, I'd read my Bible and pray, but it never took long before that would go by the wayside again.  God seemed so distant, like some old relative who didn't really care much about me.  Truth be told, I didn't really care much about Him either.  I mean, I was grateful to be safe from hell and all, but I just wasn't feeling much in the way of love for Him.  Reading the Bible was dry and didn't seem to have much application to my life; prayer was a boring exercise.

I constantly longed to be happy and, not finding it in religion, I was convinced that marriage and family was the answer.  I wanted the true love that I saw in Hollywoord romances and heard about in the 1980s power ballads that I listened to.  Once I had that, everything would be hunky-dory.

When I turned 18, I left for college in Mississippi, and I loved it.  I was in the band and traveled on frequent road trips to play at football games.  That made it easy to miss church meetings and, by the end of my freshman year, I didn't bother going at all.

As a sophomore, I began dating a guy named O, and I was quickly convinced he was the man I wanted to marry.  I was finally going to have the happiness I had spent so many years searching for.  But my parents did not approve of the relationship because O was not a Christian, and that caused a tremendous amount of friction between my parents and me.  If you have kids in their teens or early 20s, you're probably well acquainted with the rebellion you'll see in those years.  I was convinced that I knew how to run my own life, and I certainly didn't need any help from Mom and Dad.  Or, apparently, from God Himself, Who also made it very clear to me that He did not want me in this relationship with O.

Within six months, O and I became physically involved, binding me to him emotionally far more than I otherwise would have been.  Trying to avoid the "big sins" went out the window when he became my whole world.  In reality, he was my god.  I spent vast amounts of money on him, stopped going to class, even lost my college scholarship because all I wanted to do was spend time with him.  I guess that's what happens when you think you've found the one thing you need to make your life complete.

Yet, somehow, I was still unhappy.  As a matter of fact, I was more miserable than ever.  I cried all the time.  See, I wanted O to love me the way I had always wanted to be loved, the way you see in the movies with the happy endings.  I walked around constantly unhappy because he never loved me enough.  I didn't realize that what I really craved was love that he could never give me because it was love that only God could provide.  

O and I were together ten years.  During that time, we both finished college, and I went on to complete pharmacy school and two years of residency training.  Then, in 2001, I was offered my first "real" job as a pharmacist, and I finally got what I wanted for a decade when O asked me to marry him.  I quickly said yes, even though I was convinced that my parents would disown me over it.

But their response was something far different than I ever expected.

They told me they felt like I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life, and they wanted me to pray about it.  But, whatever I chose to do, they would support me.

Surprised, I told my mom of my expectation that they would disown me.  I knew how much they disapproved of my relationship with O.

She blinked and quietly responded, "You're our daughter.  We would never disown you."

That got my attention.  If they were willing to overlook their own desires and still support me, I figured that their motive must really love, instead of control, as I'd always thought.  That being the case, I figured it would be wise to take their advice and pray about my upcoming marriage.

The Father's answer came back very quickly - and very clearly.

"You have to choose who is number one in your life.  Is it Me, or is it him?"

That wasn't what I expected - or wanted - to hear, so I kept praying. For a month.  Seriously, an entire 30 days of begging God, each and every time, something along the lines of, "God, please, can't I have him?"

Not once did His response waver.  "You have to choose."

And I finally relented.  "OK," I said with a sigh.  "If I have to choose, then I have to choose You because You're eternal, and he's not."

I called and broke things off with O that day.  I wish I could say that I never wavered in that decision but, in a moment of fear and desperation, I called him a few days later and begged him to take me back.  He refused, and I never tried again.  

I can say with unquestioning confidence that it was the best decision I ever made.

My life was completely changed by that one moment of obedience, though I didn't realize it then.  From that moment, the Spirit began to give me insights into Himself, and I loved it.  I craved the Word and read constantly, trying to discern what He was saying to me, how its Truth should change my life.  

By that time, I had moved to Virginia, a 13-hour drive from my family, to start my new job.  I was suddenly in a new place where I knew no one, in a new job, making new friends, and now without my 10-year relationship.  I felt like I had lost everything, but that time of utter dependence on Christ was when I became richer than I had ever been.  I got to watch Him prove Himself entirely sufficient.

Within a month, the Spirit led me to a church that truly became family to me.  My relationships with people there continue to this day, even though we are now half a world apart.  During our time together, we learned to love and serve one another, to have true fellowship.  Now that wasn't always pretty.  We got mad, we fought, then we came back and worked through it because giving up on each other wasn't an option.  We were a family, and you can't quit on your family.

Part of my family in Virginia:  My Sunday School class

Through my church in Virginia, the Lord began to teach me Who He is and who I am.  I learned that His love for me is manifested not just in the good times and celebrations, but also in painful moments and suffering.  I rejoiced at happy events, I sobbed through painful ones and, through it all, I came to know my Father more deeply, discovering with each joyful or painful step just how true and faithful He is.

When I first sensed the Spirit's leading to go into overseas mission service, I told my church family first.  They supported me completely, and I saw my Father's love in each of their faces as they threw me one last party before I left.  When I stepped on that plane headed for South America, I already missed them, and Job's words never rang more true for me than at that moment:

"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." (Job 1:21)

Yet my Father remained steadfast in His love then, too.  Just as He had promised, He went with me to Guatemala and was with me through the difficult months of language study.  He remained with me in Peru as I struggled through months of jungle training, and He was still there when I moved on to Bolivia.  He gave me a true family in each of those places, too, and He Himself stayed right there with us the whole time, through every moment of discomfort and joy and encouragement and heartache.  And He was always accomplishing His work - in us and through us.

My family in Bolivia: (L to R) Leah, me, Misty, and Amy

When I came home to the US on furlough in 2012, the Father was with me there, too.  His constant presence was a comfort when I injured my back in July, a minor injury that revealed a much greater problem, underlying arthritis that caused degeneration in the spine and resultant disk problems that left me wondering whether I would be allowed to return to the field.  

By late in the year, the back had improved significantly, and I was planning to return overseas.  Since the Spirit had now called me to a different work, in ministry to women in the sex industry, I had been exploring job options within my organization and had one lined up.  It was the perfect fit, and I was working on visa paperwork when I got an unexpected phone call.  The medical personnel in my organization had turned down my request to take that particular job, saying that the roads were so bad in that location that it could cause significant long-term damage to my already damaged back.

That call turned my world upside-down.  I was devastated and completely at a loss.  I had no idea what to do at that point so, instead of turning to the One Who had always been faithful to me, I turned on Him.  I mean, I raged at my Father.  He was the One Who had called me to to take this job, and now He was pulling it out from under me?  How could He betray me like that?  Those were just a few of the nicer thoughts I shared with Him.

Looking back on it now, I am completely ashamed by my lack of trust in Him and how I treated Him during that time.  He has always proven Himself faithful and trustworthy, and I am so unworthy of Him and His great love for me.  That I could respond as I did shames me and only highlights how much greater He is than I could ever be.  I would not have forgiven me for the things I said and thought - but He does.

I didn't know then why the Father allowed that back injury or the arthritis it revealed.  I still don't.  At the moment, my back is mostly doing well, but I still have painful twinges, and I'm always reminded of the problems when I first get out of bed in the morning.  But my Father is sovereign and this is how He has chosen to show His love to me now.  I don't have to understand it; I just have to trust in His goodness and in His unfailing love.

When I talk about the great love my Father has for me and how I've come to know it, these are just a few of the scenarios that have taught me about it.  There will be many more moments to come in which I will come to know and understand it more deeply.  I'm sure there will be times when I'll respond well to how He demonstrates His love and, unfortunately, there will be moments when I won't.  I've seen His chastisement and His forgiveness in my disobedience, I've seen His pleasure and His approval in my obedience, and I've seen His grace and love through it all.  It has not failed me yet - and it never will.

"O God, we meditate on your unfailing love as we worship in your Temple." (Ps. 48:9)

When was the last time you meditated on His unfailing love for you?

Saying goodbye to my parents at the airport before leaving for Thailand

I've Found True Love!

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

My parents came to visit for two weeks, and we had a really marvelous time together!  They got to see quite a bit, as we spent time with my friend Fon and her family (top picture below), talked with other missionaries, prayer-walked many different areas, got to know my church (bottom picture below), saw a variety of ministries in action, and just hung out together.  We made a short trip to Chiang Mai but spent most of our time here in Bangkok.  They made it safely here and arrived back in the United States this past week.  I am so thankful for the time we got to spend together!

 Prayer Necessities:

1.  I have been in contact with another ministry here in Bangkok, and they have asked me to begin discipling a young lady who was previously working in a red-light area but who has now become a believer.  I am so excited about this opportunity but also feel very nervous and inadequate to do such a thing.  I certainly recognize my need for Him in this!  Please pray that my time together with this young lady would be led by the Spirit and that He would grant us both wisdom and grace as we get to know each other and mature in the faith together.

2.  Please be in prayer for me as I continue my language learning with a tutor for the next couple of weeks and then return to a formal classroom setting in mid-October.  Pray that I would be diligent to study, particularly to learn new vocabulary, and that the Lord would give me many opportunities to practice.

3.  Continue to pray for my friend Fon, who seems more interested in learning about Christ but is still stuck in the Buddhist mindset of trying to make up for past sins.  Please pray that the Lord would continue to work in her heart and would give her the understanding that she cannot ever make up for past sins but that His grace covers all her sin - past, present, and future.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

Since I arrived in Bangkok, my main focus, apart from learning language, has been getting to know the worldview of the people God has called me here to reach - those who are involved in the sex industry.  Trying to reach people with such a vastly different background than my own will be a challenge because, not only are they of a different cultural background, but they also operate under an entirely different morality.  How is it possible to even find common ground with these women, to "be all things" to them so that I might, by any means, save some, as Paul has instructed?

When I first arrived, what I noticed were the differences in my worldview and that of other Thai people.  There is blatant spirit and idol worship everywhere and no concept of a Creator God Who condemns such practices.  In a place where 99% of the population identifies itself as Buddhist, it's hard to find a house or business without a "spirit house" outside where the residents or owners leave food and drink sacrifices daily.  The best seats on various forms of public transportation have signs instructing passengers to give them up if a Buddhist monk enters, and I frequently see people offer gifts of food to a monk and then strip off their shoes and kneel down to pray before him.  The scent of incense, something I used to enjoy, now repulses me as I see it constantly offered up to a false god and realize that the people don't even know they're offering their worship to a demonic spirit.  Pagan practices abound, even as the Thai people tell you that all religions are good because they teach you to do good things.  They don't know that it's impossible to be good because the source of all actions is the heart, and we are born with an evil one.

But all of that is just the average Thai person.  When you start getting into those who are involved in the sex industry here, the differences between me and them goes to an even deeper level.  I have no personal experience with poverty, other than what I have seen on the mission field.  I have never known hunger, except voluntarily.  I have never felt the desperation of knowing I have to provide for multiple family members without any possible means of doing so.  I have never known the lack of opportunity - to receive an education, to get a job, to choose my life - that has been all these women ever know.

I can't relate to making a choice - because, no matter how poor your other options may be, it's still a choice - to sell my body.  I don't know what it's like to fake love for a man because it is what is necessary to receive the money that he has.  I can't imagine what it's like to harden my heart and mind to what is happening to my body... and wonder if there will one day be a day when my heart and mind can't be softened anymore.

So, with all of these differences between us, I have often wondered how I could ever bridge the gap between me and the sex workers here.  I know God has called me to this work, but I often feel so ill-prepared and overwhelmed by the very thought of it.

But then He reminded me of the one thing we all seem to have in common:  Our desire for love.

Now I don't mean the watered-down bill of goods our society tries to sell us.  Love is not the romanticized version you see in the movies or hear about in some sappy power ballad or read about in Shakespeare.  Love doesn't begin with "Once upon a time" and end with "Happily ever after," and it never involves riding off into the sunset with a knight on a white horse.

No, I'm talking about true love.  Love that gets up multiple times a night to care for a sick loved one.  Love that picks up dirty clothes and changes diapers and moves heavy furniture.  Love that responds gently when mistreated, answers anger with kindness, sees past sins to potential.

True love sends its only Son to a cross as an exchange for a bunch of lowly, sin-infested humans.  Love gives everything it has, even when it gets nothing in return.

Truly, that kind of love is what Fon is looking for.  When she cries to me about the latest man she met, the guy who started out as Mr. Wonderful but who broke her heart just a few weeks later when he was ready to move on, she's crying because, though she's never experienced it, there's something in her heart that says true love is out there.

And it is.  I know because I've found it.

But, see, it's hard for me to put my finger on exactly when I got to know true love because the knowledge of it - of Him - is gradual.  Was it the moment when I recognized that Jesus was my only hope to be saved from hell?  Was it the moment when I chose to obey the Holy Spirit's command to choose between Him and my earthly boyfriend as to who would be my top priority in my life?  Was it the moment when the Spirit promised to be with me and never forsake me, even though He was sending me to another country? Was it the moment when Jesus reassured me that He loved and forgave me even after terrible failures and doubts?  Was it the moment when I had such severe back pain that I didn't know if I would be able to return to overseas work?

I think true love is found in all of those moments and in a million more.  My Jesus is that love that Fon is looking for.

And she sees that in how I treat her.  Every time I sit with her as she cries, she knows she is loved.  When I leave my house late at night to meet her, even though I just want to be in my bed, it communicates His love.  When I listen to her talk about her job, even though she knows I don't like what she's doing and wish she had a different line of work, she knows that she is accepted.

Because I know His love, I am responsible to communicate it to her and to these other women.  That is our common ground.

"Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required." (Luke 12:48)

Lord, let me fulfill my responsibility to love others as You have loved me.

Me with my mom and Fon

No, really... what would Jesus do?

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

My parents had originally planned to make a short side trip to Thailand after visiting a nearby Asian country.  But, when they had visa difficulties, they began to wonder if they should come to this part of the world at all.  The LORD eventually revealed that He didn't intend for Thailand to be the side trip but to be the main focus of their journey.  They will arrive here in just a few weeks and have made plans to spend time with me and to do lots of praying over this nation.  I'm so excited for them join me, both in spending time together and in ministry!

Prayer Necessities:

1.  Pray that I would be able to build some new friendships in a red-light district not far from my new home.

2.  Pray for my language evaluation this month.  Ask that there would be significant improvement in both my speaking and my understanding.

3.  Begin to pray for the city of Pattaya, a city about two hours southeast of Bangkok which is a world-renowned haven for prostitution.  Pray that God would begin to shine His light into that darkness and that many would turn to Him.

4.  Continue to pray for Fon.  She really wants to enter a new line of work, but the attraction of the money in her current job is enormous.  Pray that the Lord would burden her with so much conviction that the money is not worth it and that she will seek not only a new job but a new life and the One Who gives it.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

When I first began to sense the Spirit's calling into ministry to those in the sex trade, I did quite a bit of research.  Of course, the first thing I found was lots of information on human trafficking, and my heart went out to teenagers who find themselves enslaved as sex workers against their will.  It still does.  I can't imagine what it must be like to be 13, terrified, and forced to sell your body to multiple clients every night.  Those who perpetuate this activity - the traffickers AND the clients - should receive significant prison time, and those who even look at pornography should know that they are part of the problem because that is where the demand for these girls' "services" is created.

That being said, I began to notice a change in my own attitude as I learned more.  I found that I didn't care just about those who were brought into this lifestyle against their will but that I increasingly wanted to help those who had made the choice to enter prostitution.  And that surprised me because I had grown up thinking that those who would make such a choice had really made their own bed and should just lie in it.  I'd always just figured that , somehow, those who were trafficked were worthy of saving but those who had voluntarily entered the sex trade weren't.  I suspect many of you might have felt (or still feel) the same.  It's pretty easy to cast judgment upon those with sins different than our own, isn't it?

Now I want you to see some factors that might change your thinking, just as mine has.  I want to tell you the story of a real sex worker, a friend of mine.  I'll call her C.

C is from the northern region of Thailand.  She was abandoned by her biological mother when she was just a few months old and doesn't know anything about her father.  She was adopted by a childless couple who took her in and sent her to live with her grandmother.  It is common practice among poor Thai families for the grandparents to care for the children while both parents work to make enough money to survive.

C went to school, but the fees were a hardship on the family.  Public education is theoretically provided by the government of Thailand, but there is a lot of corruption, resulting in hidden fees that make it particularly difficult for poor families to educate their children.  To help support the family, C's grandmother sent her daily with many items to sell to the other children, the teachers, and those she met on her way to and from school.  She often spent so much time selling that she didn't get to hear the lessons.

By the sixth grade, C's family could no longer afford to continue sending her to school, so she had to drop out.  At age 13, she made her way to Bangkok (about 12 hours away) to find work.  In Thai culture, it is the oldest daughter's responsibility to support the rest of the family, so she needed to take whatever work she could find.  In this case, she was the only daughter, so being able to provide for the family was especially important.

She took a job in a clothing factory, a sweatshop, where she worked 12 hours a day from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm. Because Thailand does not permit employment for those under 14, she had to hide anytime a government worker came to the factory.

Eventually, needing to make more money, C took a second job in a karaoke bar from 7:00 pm until 4:00 the next morning.  She would use the few hours when she wasn't working to squeeze in some sleep.  She worked like this for only a few months before finding a job as a maid.  This was an especially good deal for her because it not only paid a small salary, but her meals and lodging were provided by her employer.

Life continued similar to this until C was 17 and began dating a young Thai man.  He lived at home with his parents, and she had her own rented room nearby.  When things got serious, he moved into the room with C.  Everything seemed great until she became pregnant.

C was a few months along in the pregnancy and excited about the baby.  She called her parents to tell them and was shocked to find that they were angry with her and demanded that she abort the baby.  When she tried to argue that she wanted to keep the baby, her dad told her that she needed to get rid of it, or he would "come there and stomp it out."  She went through with the abortion.

But she was emotionally devastated.  She went to the Buddhist temple and spent several days meditating and trying to earn merit because she felt so guilty, but nothing seemed to help.  Eventually, she tried to jump off a bridge to kill herself, but she was saved by several passersby.

She returned to the room she shared with her boyfriend and, within a few months, she was pregnant again.  But the new pregnancy couldn't erase the overwhelming guilt, so she tried to kill herself with pills.  Thankfully, she was once again unsuccessful, and the baby was also unharmed.  She began to get excited about the new baby and decided that she wouldn't tell her parents until it was too late to have another abortion.

In the meantime, C's boyfriend moved another woman into the room that he shared with C.  I'm sure it was an awkward situation to share a room with your boyfriend and his new girlfriend while you are pregnant with his child, especially when you're the one paying for the room!  When the baby, a girl, was born, C promptly kicked out her boyfriend and the other woman and swore that she would never be with another Thai man.  She had seen how Western men treated women - opening doors for them, financially responsible, not expecting the woman to wait on them hand and foot - and she decided that she wanted a Western man or no man at all.

Being a single mom and needing to make more money to support her new baby, C began to work in a massage parlor.  She quickly learned just how much money you can make, not from the massages themselves but from the "extra" services that could be offered.  Her tips for those services could easily earn her upwards of $300 a day, an unheard-of amount for a girl with no education.

After a few years, C moved to another massage parlor, where she met an Australian man who said he was separated from his wife.  They began a relationship, and she became pregnant again.  He moved her to Australia, and she went, leaving her young daughter with her parents in northern Thailand.  When she arrived in Australia, she found that her boyfriend was actually not separated from his wife, but he did provide for her during that time.  Her second daughter was born in Australia.

When the relationship with the Australian went south, C and her baby daughter moved back to Thailand, and she brought her older daughter back to Bangkok so that they could live together as a family.  They have been here ever since.  

Now in her 30s, C continues to work in massage parlors and now has enough money to own a house and to send both daughters to school.  She frequently makes appointments outside the massage parlor to have sex with clients.  Some of those clients get violent, and she has walked away from their interactions with bruises and pain.  She lives with the constant threat of sexually-transmitted diseases, especially HIV.  She once asked me if I would still be her friend if she got AIDS and heaved a sigh of relief when I said yes with no hesitation.  Physical abuse, disease, abandonment by others.  Such are the dangers of the life she leads.

C is constantly looking for the "right" man and, in many ways, she has a fairy-tale fantasy that her life will be a real version of "Pretty Woman."  Mr. Right will eventually walk into her shop, sweep her off her feet, and take her away into a perfect life.  She gets her hopes up with each new client, only to have them dashed when he proves to be yet another person telling her lies.  Her life is built on a facade and, as an outsider, these are fascinating but terribly sad interactions for me to watch.  He lies to her, she lies to him, they each try to get what they want from each other, and both leave feeling unsatisfied with it all.  This Hollywood fairy tale, after all, is just make-believe.

And C can't get over the guilt.  She still thinks about the abortion, even more than a decade later.  Buddhism says it is a sin to kill, and she knows that she has sinned in killing her baby.  Buddhism also prohibits adultery, and she knows that most of her clients are married men.  She knows that she is adding sin upon sin daily, and she worries that she will never get out from under the load of bad things that she has done, that she'll never be able to do enough good to make up for all the bad.  Yet she loves the money.  She loves what it can buy.  She wants a car and nice clothes, and she wants to send her kids to the university so that they don't have to live the life that she's lived.  Her oldest wants to be a doctor, her youngest an artist.  So what choice does she have?

She has heard the Gospel but doesn't believe... yet.  Buddhism has a hold on her.  She has been taught its tenets from birth, and there is a saying in Thailand:  "To be Thai is to be Buddhist."  How does one overcome that kind of deeply ingrained cultural belief?  Only the Spirit can draw her, and only she can decide whether following Him is worth it.  But, oh, the freedom from guilt she could have if she only knew Jesus enough to trust Him with her life.  If only she knew the extravagant, prodigal love that would exchange a perfect Son for a wretched worm of a sinner like me or like you or like her.  If only she understood that He alone can transform her wasted, guilt-ridden life into one overflowing with purpose and meaning and... well, LIFE.

I tell you that story to let you see a real person who has "voluntarily" chosen to enter the life of prostitution (or a variant thereof).  But, in her situation and apart from Christ, I'm not so sure that I wouldn't have made the same choices she has.  Who am I to judge what she has done?  She doesn't know Jesus.  How could she do anything else but live a life of sin?

I hope this will help you to see these women differently.  Maybe God will grant you a heart of compassion for them.  Maybe you will want to know their stories.  Maybe you will want to serve them in some small (or big) way.  Maybe you will want to show them Who Jesus is through your actions and, once you have done that, through your words.

C once told me that she loves her parents because they have always been there for her.  Then she added, "Same as you."  Jesus is ever faithful, and I am so blessed to get to show her a little of His faithfulness in the way I treat her.

I know that Jesus loves women like C.  He loves call girls and exotic dancers and streetwalkers and women who offer extra services in massage parlors.  In the Bible, He kept one from being stoned and asked another for water at Samaritan well.  Then He told one of them to "go and sin no more" and the other to ask Him for living water so that He could give it to her.

I hope that, someday soon, C will be filled with the living water so that she will go and sin no more.

Reaching Out to a Teenager

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

My latest language evaluation put me at a level 3, much better than expected!  To give you perspective, I must reach level 5 in order to begin ministry while still continuing in part-time language study with a tutor and, once I reach level 7, I will be released to full-time ministry.  My language will be evaluated again in September.  The LORD has brought me so far in such a short time, and I know He will continue to advance my language in His timing.

Prayer Necessities:

1.  Please pray that the Father will continue to give me ears to hear and understand this language and a mind that retains the vocabulary and sentence structures.  Pray that I would be diligent to practice speaking and understanding even as I am spending more time learning to read and write.

2.  Pray that Fon would understand the English Bible stories that she is now beginning to read and that God would draw her to Himself through them.

3.  Please pray for my fellow language student S to come to know the peace and truth that can only be found in Christ.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

After three months of language study focused on speaking and understanding the Thai language, I am now finally learning to read and write!  This is exciting for me, as I can now read the sign outside the school and am beginning to distinguish the words to the songs we sing at our church service.  As I try to read the most basic words like "school" (spelled โรงเรียน and pronounced "roongrian" in Thai), I imagine that I sound just like any American first-grader... and maybe even a little less educated. :)  Check out some of my handwriting efforts:  

I am no longer learning solo, as a new student named S joined me at the beginning of this set of classes.  Our first few days together were a little rocky, as he could already read and write much better than I could, but he was not quite advanced enough to pass this learning module altogether.  He didn't bother to hide the fact that he was quite bored.

But he eventually began to talk to me some, and we finally had a prolonged conversation this week.  Well, it lasted 15 minutes.  But that was prolonged considering who S is.  

See, my fellow student is a teenager.

Alright, let me explain.  Teenagers make me nervous.  In my mind, they always think they're smarter than I am... and most of the time, they're right about that.  But they're not as smart as they think they are, and I know that from my own personal experience as a teenager. :)

I have this stereotype of teenagers in my head as sullen, angry, rebellious people who don't want to have anything to do with an adult because they know better than all of them.  

I will tell you that I've met lots of adolescents who have proved to me that my stereotype is completely wrong.  Those kids have restored my faith in teenagers and have made me think that the future is bright and responsible and mature.

But S fit my original stereotype so well that I could have written it for him.  And I wanted nothing whatsoever to do with this angry young man.  I resolved myself to getting through the four hours of class daily without saying a word to him, as he so clearly didn't want to talk to either me or the teacher.

But the Lord had other ideas.

Through a friend, He reminded me that I need to reach out to S to try to form some kind of a relationship with him.  That would require humility on my part... something that I'm not very good at.

The next day, I begrudgingly asked S for advice on my pronunciation, and this simple act of humility seemed to change his whole attitude toward me.  For the rest of the day, he was very pleasant to me during our class breaks, if still not the most pleasant person during the class itself.  After school, he even asked me why I was in Thailand, which led to a very nice conversation.

I wish I could say he's been like that ever since, but I never know what to expect from this boy when he comes to class.  He is moody and often still sullen.  Still, I have managed to learn that he was born in Bangkok to Thai and Chinese parents who are Christians.  The family moved to the US when he was 3 and then returned to Thailand at age 13.  He's now 16 and has been here ever since, only returning once to America for a short visit.

This past Friday, he seemed especially angry, but I still felt that I should try to engage him.  I asked about a book he was reading, and it led into a deeper conversation about what he believes.

The basic story is that the move here to Thailand at age 13 really sent this kid into culture shock, and he began to withdraw from everyone.  He became angry and depressed, and he began to question everything, particularly the Christian faith that his parents had always taught him.  He is extremely intelligent and began to seek out answers in philosophy texts which led him into worldly theories that end in hopelessness.  He is still seeking the answers to his questions but seems angry at God in the midst of it all so, as he seeks truth, he is actively pushing away the only Source of real Truth with both hands.

Yet God still has His mighty hand on this kid.

See, S has a Christian family.  Do you want to know just how exceedingly rare that is in Thailand?  98% of the people here classify themselves as Buddhists.  Every other religion finds itself mixed into the 2% that remains, which means Christ-followers number somewhere in the 0.5% range.

In addition, he finds himself in a class taught by one of only three Christian teachers at the school and with one of the few Christian missionaries taking classes at the school this month.  It seems that, in a vastly Buddhist country, S just can't seem to get away from Christians.

Please be in prayer that this young man's heart would be softened to the Truth of Christ.  Pray that God would penetrate his anger with a very real demonstration of His love.  And please ask that I would minister to him through the Holy Spirit and would have great wisdom and compassion.

The Lies We Believe

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

I recently finished a second month of Thai language study, and things are progressing very well.  I am starting to be able to hear the tones (different pitches of the sounds that make a difference in the word's meaning) and am frequently amazed at how much I can understand.  Though it's not a huge amount, mind you, I am still very encouraged by the progress.  I know there's still a long road ahead, but it's nice to be able to see how far the Lord has brought me!

My friend Brittne and I sharing coconut ice cream with Fon

Prayer Necessities:

1.  Please continue to lift up Fon (pictured above) in your prayers.  A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to share just a small portion of who God is with her, only to hear her say that she just doesn't understand where I'm coming from.  But she did tell me that she is willing to listen more as she begins to understand more English and I begin to speak more Thai.  Therefore...

2.  Please pray that I would rapidly advance in this language.  Language study for four hours a day, five days a week, in addition to outside homework, is an exhausting business and, frankly, I sometimes get lazy and don't study at home like I should.  Pray that I would remain motivated, knowing that communication in this language is an urgent matter when eternal destinies are at stake.

3.  Pray that I would be diligent to bring "every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:5).

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

It's been a tough few weeks.  I won't share details, but a difficult situation arose that didn't resolve in the way I had hoped.  A friendship I once had has recently been broken, and it really sent me into something of a tailspin.  Now that I'm beginning to come out of it, it's easier to look back and see things more clearly with the Lord's perspective.

The main reason for the tailspin was that I decided to listen to the enemy's lies, rather than "bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ."  So let me share with you a little of my struggle, with a twofold purpose:  First, that you might be encouraged that you are not alone in your struggles with our enemy's deceptions; and second, that I might be humble and honest before you so that you will better know how to lift me up to the Father.

I'm sure most of you know how these things go.  Our enemy is constantly whispering lies in our ears:  

"You don't really have time to stop and talk to that person.  You're tired, and the kids are in the car.  Just call him later."  

"Forgive her?  Really?  After what she did?  No, you're perfectly justified in not making the first move to fix things.  She's the one who was in the wrong; let her be the first one to call and apologize."  

"That was so dumb of you to say that.  He probably thinks you're a real idiot."  

You've probably heard some variation of every one of these and a million more.  He does it to us all the time.  It's just what the enemy does; he accuses.  The very word "satan" means accuser.  I didn't capitalize it because I don't think it's a proper name; it's just a description of what he is.

When things first went down with my friend, the accuser began to tell me that I shouldn't share things with you, my prayer partners.  

"They won't understand," he said.  "They'll question whether you can maintain a friendship with anybody... and rightfully so.  You're not very good at that, are you?  You should be embarrassed."

And I believed him, so I didn't want to share with you.

Next, he convinced me to feel sorry for myself.  

"Why would your friend do this to you?  All you've ever done was try to be nice to her.  Maybe you should just  stay away from people.  That's the only way to keep them from hurting you."

And I believed him, so I began to have a pity party and basically be angry at everyone around me... regardless of whether they'd done anything to me or not.

Next, he convinced me that I'd never be able to make new friends and, even if I could, I wouldn't be able to trust them.  

"What's wrong with you that you can't keep friendships anyway?  You're always saying things wrong.  You hurt people.  You don't dress very nice.  You're not pretty.  Why would anyone want to be friends with you anyway?"  

One day, I went to lunch with a new friend and thoroughly enjoyed our time together.  But, as I was headed home, the lies came again:  

"You know she only went to eat with you out of pity, right?  I mean, you obviously don't have many friends here.  She made a comment about how you look different today than you did yesterday at church.  I'm sure she won't want to be caught dead being friends with somebody who dresses like a slob all the time.   Hope you enjoyed that lunch.  It'll be the last one you have with her."

Ultimately, all of these lies led me to the point of questioning my purpose here.  

"Why are you here anyway?  You'll never be able to cross over all of these barriers to even form a friendship with any of the women here, let alone share Jesus with them.  You can't speak the language, you'll never understand their culture, and you can't even keep friendships with other Christians.  You're never going to be able to do what you came here to do.  You should just go home before you waste any more time and money."

Thankfully, at that point, the Lord really encouraged me with MANY reminders of His Truth in many different ways - through a variety of different believers and through His Word.  He also pointed me back to something that happened at the very beginning of my time here.

On my very first Sunday in Thailand, I met a man who is part of my new church family here.  He didn't know me and was asking the Lord how he should pray for me, and the Lord gave him a very specific word.  After the service, he asked a girl at the church to translate and told me this:  

"You will struggle with this language if you try to do it on your own, but the Lord will give it to you in time if you rely on Him to do it.  He will use you in an amazing way here in the lives of many women."

Wow.

Keep in mind that this man did not know me at all, nor did anyone else in that church.  They knew I was a missionary (the man, who had come to the service late, didn't even know that much), but they did not know the specific ministry I had been called here to do.  I have no doubt that word was truly from the Lord.

Being reminded of that promise, I knew that I couldn't continue to listen to the enemy's lies.  They would defeat me and would keep me from letting the Lord fulfill what He'd said.  When I started replacing those lies with the Truth that comes from the Word of God, the tailspin began to slow and has now almost stopped.

Please understand that I'm not sharing with you so that you'll feel sorry for me.  We all battle every one of these, or something worse, every day.  I'm not alone, and I hope you'll realize that you're not either.  But the accuser uses a few strategies of which we should all be aware:

1.  He seeks to isolate us.  If he can get you feeling and acting like you're all alone, the battle is mostly won.  But you're not alone!  "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man" (1 Cor. 10:13).  Don't be afraid to share your struggles with someone who loves you.  Chances are, they've been there, too.  And, even if they haven't, someone who truly loves you will care enough about you to listen and be there for you.

2.  He seeks to keep you focused on your own problems.  Don't let him!  Get out of your pity party.  When you feel most miserable, read Scripture, pray, and then go and spend time talking to and/or serving someone else.  When you stay focused on you, it just leads into a downward spiral of increasing self-pity, which only makes you more and more miserable.  I promise, I know the truth of this firsthand.

3.  He seeks to divide believers.  There are precious few reasons to end relationships with your brothers and sisters.  As a matter of fact, the only one I can think of is unrepentant sin after following the disciplinary steps outlined in Matthew 18.  Yet we walk away from relationships with our brothers and sisters all the time, simply because it's easier and less painful to do so than to sort through the many difficulties associated with being in relationship with other imperfect people.  But Scripture tells us that we are to be diligent to guard the unity of the body (Eph. 4:3) and that this unity is what shows the world that God sent Jesus (Jn. 17:23).

I hope these lessons I've been learning will be helpful to you as you seek to listen only to the Truth and to disregard those lies.  They can feel so real, but they are only deceptions.  Let's help each other remember that.  Thank you for faithfully walking alongside me on this narrow path!

The Most Unlikely Friendship

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

You prayed that God would give me a Thai friend, and He has answered in an amazing way!  Khemtida is originally from Bangkok, spent several years in the US, and is now back in her homeland working for a non-profit organization.  She speaks excellent English and is a devoted follower of Christ.  I'm so blessed to be able to call her my friend!

Out and about with my friend Khemtida

And, as you'll find out if you read on, the Lord is also beginning to give me another Thai friend, though this lady is not a believer.  It's amazing how that friendship has come about, so read on.

Prayer Necessities:

1.  Pray that my new friendship with "Hannah" would grow and that I would have opportunities to share the Truth of Christ with her.

2.  Ask that the Lord would give me three women to begin training as disciples of Christ by the end of 2013.

3.  Continue to pray for ears to hear, a mind to understand, and a mouth to speak the Thai language.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

When the Lord first called me to this new ministry - making disciples of "ladies of the night," as they are called - I tried to argue with Him.  "I don't know how to do that," I said.  "I don't have any experience with that kind of ministry... or doing social ministry of any kind, for that matter.  And I can't personally relate to the life experiences of these women either."

And you know what?  I was right.

But, as I really should learn, you can't ever win an argument with the Lord.  Instead of being released from this new calling, the call remained on me... and even got stronger.

That's just a small part of how I wound up in Bangkok.  And, let me tell you, when I first saw the red-light district here, I was even more convinced of my utter inadequacy for this job.  You see, on any given night in that area, the depravity of man is on full display in all its inglorious decadence, and the darkness is so thick that you can almost feel it pressing on your skin.  To see it is to stare wide-eyed and be overwhelmed.

But God continues to confirm the call... and to assure me that He, and not I, will do this work.  That is why He likes it when I feel inadequate.  The truth is that I not only feel that way; I am inadequate.  And that feeling is what drives me to my knees in abject humility and dependence on Him.  I really cannot do this job.

But He can, and He assures me that He will.

My evidence of that is most readily displayed in a 32-year-old woman I'll call "Hannah."  I met her one night as a praying friend and I were standing outside the massage parlor where she works.  My friend and I were debating how we could start a conversation with the women inside when the Lord took it out of our hands by sending Hannah out to talk to us.

"So sorry," she said, fake smile firmly in place.  "Men only.  We specialize in happy endings."

What a coincidence, I thought.  So does my God.

I didn't know how to explain in Thai that we were praying over the area, so I opted instead for the only thing I could say really well.  I asked her name.  Upon hearing her native language on the unpracticed lips of a foreigner, Hannah's fake smile became a real one, and a friendship was begun.

Our next conversation took place in the lobby of her workplace, the very same place to which I had previously been denied access.  Like sin itself, it had an appealing entrance:  Cool, pleasant, even peaceful.  But I knew what went on deeper inside, and it made my heart heavy to think of my new friend's life.

After we chatted in Thai - hers perfect and fluid, mine halting and broken - she finally asked me why I was working so hard to learn the language.  I explained that I believe there is one God, that His name is Jesus, and that I have come here to tell people about Him.  She looked confused at first but then laughed and said, "You go to heaven, and I go to hell."

I could not have disagreed more strongly with that assessment, so I responded, "No, Hannah.  Jesus loves you, and He sent me here to tell you that."  I have never wanted so badly to miraculously speak this new language so that I could share with her the Truth that can save her, but I had to settle for assuring her that I would tell her more about Him as soon as I can.

The next time we spoke, almost the entire conversation was in English.  We began to discuss romance, and she proceeded to share with me some of the struggles of her life in that area.  The discussion was deep, much deeper than it normally would be for such a short friendship, and I felt privileged that this woman would trust me with such profound wounds from her life.

As I was leaving, Hannah told me that she had told her boyfriend about me and my belief in God.  Let me elaborate:  Pure Buddhism teaches that there is no God, and even the Thai variety of Buddhism may believe there are many gods but not really one True Creator God.  Yet my one comment made enough of an impact on her that she told her boyfriend of it in the few minutes a night she has to share with him via phone.  God is certainly at work in her.

There is honestly no human reason I should be friends with Hannah.  We have nothing in common beyond our gender, yet she has trusted me with deep parts of herself when she is not likely a very trusting person.  And I am filled with a supernatural love for her.  I so want her to be filled with the joy that she's searching for, the joy that I possess.  Our friendship can only be explained by divine means.

Yes, I am completely inadequate for this job, but my God is more than sufficient.

The evidence of it walks around in a massage parlor reserved "for men only."  Please pray that her heart would soon be reserved only for the One True God.

Fishing boats in the Malaysian sunset