Walking the Walk... Together

Great is the LORD and greatly to be praised:

I have been able to spend this week at a very encouraging conference for missionaries involved in ministry to women in the sex industry.  We have shared victories and struggles with one another, and I have learned so much from others who have been involved in this work longer than I have.  It has been so encouraging to hear what the Lord is doing in their lives and to know that I am not alone in this work!

Additionally, I had a wonderful 2-1/2-week vacation in the United States, filled with time with friends and family, speaking at churches, and having lots of fun at the beach.  It was so good to see many of you during that time!

Fun with friends from high school

Lunch with my aunt and her friends

Hanging out with my cousin and his family

Prayer Necessities:

1.  The cell group that I had previously mentioned has, sadly, stopped meeting together.  Please pray for me to have wisdom in knowing how to move forward in starting a new group.

2.  I have recently begun teaching English to a lady who is interested in learning more about Christ.  Our discussions on passages from the book of Genesis have been deep, and she is very open to hearing more.  Please pray that the Lord would reveal His Truth to my new friend, Ja.

3.  Please continue to lift up W and J, my two friends who work in a local dance bar.  Also, pray that my relationships with them would lead to other friendships and opportunities to share Christ in that club.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know:

As I delve farther into my current ministry, one thing I continue to learn is the prevalence of sexual abuse across all cultures and its far-reaching impact on society.  And even more disturbing than how commonly it occurs in society at large is its prevalence IN THE CHURCH.  Just this week, I have heard the stories of two women from two different Western cultures (one of which was American).  Both of these women were abused at 3-4 years of age by men who were their relatives, and both of those men were leaders in their churches.

It is estimated that anywhere from 10 – 30% of children in the United States have been sexually abused.  Considering that sexual abuse is grossly underreported, I think it’s safe to assume there are even more kids who live through that kind of trauma.  It’s a horrifying statistic that should disgust us.

You know what should disgust us even more?  The fact that it is frequently those belonging to the body of Christ who are perpetrating these crimes against children.

Don’t make the mistake of latching onto the Catholic priest scandal and thinking that evangelical churches are somehow exempt from this kind of horrific sin.  Both of the women I mentioned above were abused by men in Protestant churches, and I know of MANY others with similar experiences.  Remember, sin thrives in the dark.  Very few of the victims report it because of the likelihood they won’t be believed.  What kind of weight does a child’s word carry against that of a well-respected church member?

Sexual immorality, in a variety of forms, is rampant in the church today.  You name the sexual sin, and the church has experienced it.  And, in some tragic cases, the church has overlooked it and, worse, even condoned it.  How the Lord must be grieved with this indeed.

Pornography is an absolute epidemic in Western cultures, with an ever-increasing prevalence due to ease of access to it via electronic media.  Nearly 90% of young men aged 18-26, and 30% of young women in the same age range, have reported using pornography.  Considering the fact that pornography is a gateway that leads to a variety of sexually immoral and/or deviant behavior, including sexual assault, this is a truly terrifying statistic.  However, the utterly shameful fact is that the church has maintained its purity in this area only somewhat better than the world.

And, friends, the world is not trying to maintain its purity.

OK, folks, my point is not to make us defensive.  Don’t think, “Oh, but that doesn’t happen in MY church.”  The reality is that it very likely is – and, just maybe, among those you would least suspect.  And don’t think, “Oh, but those people probably aren’t real Christians.”  Some might not be, but many probably are.

The reality is that it is possible for us to walk in victory over sin, even sins that we have struggled with for some time.  We can do that because the almighty power of the risen Christ dwells within us and enables us to overcome sin.  That’s the Gospel in all its beautiful, miraculous, astounding, filthy-sinner-to-righteous-saint glory!  We no longer HAVE to sin.  We really do have a choice not to, something that we didn’t really have before when we were utterly enslaved to it.  Praise be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

But whether or not we ARE walking in victory over sin is an entirely different story because there’s a lot that goes into achieving it.  And most of it involves the fellowship and community that we have with other believers.

The choice to commit adultery or to sexually abuse a child or to engage in any other sin that we think of as something big doesn’t start right there.  No one gets up in the morning and just thinks out of the blue, “Oh, you know what?  I’m going to go out and cheat on my husband today.”  It’s actually a pretty gradual descent into wickedness, a “drifting away” as the book of Hebrews calls it, one that starts – and can most easily be stopped – much earlier.  By the time a believer has achieved the mindset that will lead him (or her) into adultery or sexual abuse, he (or she) has been edging down that road for a while.

Years ago, I heard a Casting Crowns song that describes this process very well:

“It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away,

It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray.

And thoughts invade, choices made,

A price will be paid when you give yourself away.

People never crumble in a day,

It’s a slow fade. 

It’s a slow fade.”

What’s my point?  Just this.  We, as the church, have to respond to sin in our midst in a Biblical fashion.  It is our privilege and our responsibility to walk together with one another through this journey of life, helping one another to avoid and overcome sin, and we desperately need to embrace that role in each other’s lives.  But, right now, most of us are doing a really awful job of it.

So what should we do to improve?  Interestingly enough, we just have to obey what the Bible tells us to do.

      

     1.       Encourage each other.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Heb. 3:13)

Ask yourself how often you encourage a brother or sister, and be honest in your answer.  I will be honest with you and admit that I am terrible at it.  I am quick to criticize others but very lax about telling them how I see the Lord at work in their lives.  But a hyper-critical environment in the body doesn’t make the atmosphere very conducive for #2 to occur on a regular basis.

      2.       Confess our sins to other believers.

“…confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”  (James 5:16)

How frequently do you do this?  This is one of the most glaring weaknesses I see in the church today.  We all put on a face the moment we get around other believers.  We say the sweetest things to one another, even as we know full well that we cursed out another driver not five minutes earlier.

Let me tell you something:  I’m tired of the façade.  It’s so much easier to be real about my struggles than it is to pretend they’re not there.  The real questions are these:  Am I willing to humble myself enough to be real with my brothers and sisters?  And are my brothers and sisters willing to refuse to condemn me and instead to forgive me and love me with open arms?  When both of us are willing to do that, I think you would see a revolutionized church.

Are you willing to be the person who confesses your sins?  Am I?

     3.       Help a repentant believer to walk in purity while avoiding the same temptations.

“…if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this:  Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” (James 5:19-20)

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spiritshould restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (Gal. 6:1)

Now we’re getting into the nitty-gritty of the Christian walk.  This is hard stuff.  Have you ever walked alongside a believer through his struggles with addiction, with pornography, with overeating?  Oh, yeah, I just hit us all in the gut with that last one, didn’t I (no pun intended)? J  Helping each other stay on the way of the righteous is hard work, and it will involve setbacks.  It’s constantly two steps forward and one step back because none of us have arrived. 

Are you willing to walk that road with me?  Am I willing to walk it with you?

     4.       Boldly confront a brother who is in sin, and follow through on the steps of church discipline.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’  If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matt. 18:15-17)

To return to the subject that started this blog, sexual immorality is not a new problem.  It was a problem in the Corinthian church, too – so much so, in fact, that Paul had to harshly chastise that body of believers for allowing a man who was involved with his father’s wife to remain among them.  They were even proud of their own tolerance toward this guy!  But Paul quickly set them straight:

“You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame.  And you should remove this man from your fellowship.” (1 Cor. 5:2)

Paul went on to warn them that this sin that they had allowed to remain within the body would become like yeast spreading through to infect the entire church.  He then explained that they were to respond to sin among those who claim to believers in this way:

“…you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people.  Don’t even eat with such people.” (1 Cor. 5:11)

If that ultimate step of church discipline seems harsh, that’s probably because it is.  Ostracism from the body of Christ is a last resort that is reserved only for the unrepentant.  But, just like every other step in the list Jesus prescribed in Matthew 18, its goal is to encourage repentance.  God's motives in regards to us are never for evil but only for our good and for our restoration to Him and to His family.

Do you remember the next chapter in that story of the Corinthian church and their battle against sexual immorality?  They obeyed Paul’s instructions and threw the immoral believer out of their church.  And then?  Well, the guy repented and was ultimately restored to fellowship within the body (or, at least, Paul instructed them to restore him, and my assumption is that they obeyed).

My friends, we have to be willing to walk along these hard roads with one another as well.  Christians are still broken people who are tempted often.  We have to help each other to stay on the narrow path that leads to life.  No one can do it alone, and it’s a tremendous blight on the church that we seem to think we can and should.  With the prevalence of sexual depravity among us, do we really think that mindset is working? 

I think maybe it’s long past time for us to do what the Word tells us we should be doing all along.